What a typical Indian middle class woman is like :
A woman is a mother, a daughter, a sister, a wife, a colleague, a friend.
She plays so many roles, doesn't even cry when she has brats because her husband doesn't believe in contraception, does a moderate job that ensures she's back home at 6 p.m. to cook dinner. She wears clothing that neither shows her boobs or her legs.
And if her bra straps show, someone quickly tells her to pull up her blouse.
She also knows a gazillion recipes, force feeds you, because well saying, I am full - is not a trait that an Indian mother can accept.
Oh and the super Indian woman, stimulates her intellect by watching the latest soap opera (admiring the pakistani hot dude in that serial but tells her daughter - no dating a muslim guy!). That's not all. This sagely Indian woman is super kind to the bitchy household maid (who takes too many holidays and the poor super Indian woman's back hurts washing dishes).
This lovely woman bitches about the single woman living next door and makes sure the husband doesn't loiter too much outside in the corridor.
This paragon of virtue, the ideal bhartiya naari with ample clothes, a husband (can't be virtuous without a husband, can we
?), children studying in a convent, website recipe reader, mediocre performer at her job, with no initiative. That's the kind of complacent, passive women we Indians respect.
The poor husband who is also a son, father, brother, colleague, boss, friend, well who cares.
Let us celebrate the glory of the Indian supermom while the husband pours a peg and watches cricket.
Hey, all women are superwomen, let's respect them. Yay!
I think there is very little feminism in India. Or at least, advocating offeminism via an institution or even with a clarity on what feminism ought to mean for the Indian woman.
Even my personal feminist beliefs arise from an amalgamation of Western writers and champions such as Gloria Steinem.
I think feminism in India is deeply needed. There has been a lot of awareness in recent times but that is led by the creme de la creme of Indian society - women who have in the first place, supportive social structures that allows them to speak up!
There are so many misconceptions and so much hatred online from misogynists and a lack of clarity (because each women has her own definition rather than a definite outline).
Perhaps, what has made it worse is this educated, complacent acceptance of sexism that Indian women never consciously think about.
Here are a few examples:
1. Men can pee on the roadside but when a woman goes to buy sanitary napkins - the retailer will wrap it first in paper, then a plastic bad despite the fact that there are 2 layers of covering and packaging already on that piece of tissue.
Aren't both biological functions (and mind you, peeing is something you can control for a while unlike bleeding) but it's completely natural to whip out your dick and dirty public property but letting the world know that you are having periods - sheesh.
2. When boys have to relocate for the purpose of studying/working, no one complains that the city they are going to isn't safe.
3. We need feminism in India because women encourage objectification of other women. Unconsciously, but they do. By complaining how "bitchy" girls are and how cool their guy pals are. Ugh.
4. We need more open debate on feminism in India "without rape, molestation and choices being bought into discussion".
Seriously, feminism is about your being an empowered woman. Indian people do not think beyond rape, safety and the length of someone's clothes.
It's about having longer maternity leave, dealing with common income and dividing responsibilities. One major reason for the failure of the feminist movement is the ability to bring feminism down to a personal issue.
5. We need feminism so tired men don't have to stand in buses and trains.
6. The scary, opinionated feminazi image: Hey, feminists are fun too.
Why do men get shocked, or worse, agitated when they see a woman with an opinion.
7. There are few governmental initiatives towards women equality. Those that exist, are ridiculous and simplistic.
What has the NCW done in the last few years for feminism? Do any of us here know?
Feminism is obviously a joke. When was the last time anyone voted for a divorced woman? When was the last time a divorced woman stood up for elections?
Why are women in power either poor widows, spinster banshees or dutiful wives with a huge bindi stuck on their foreheads?
There is no feminism in India. There's a lot of outrage by men complaining about how women are taking over. There's a lot of well meaning but poorly conceptualized media content?
Where's the leader of the feminist movement? I don't even want a leader of the feminist movement?
You know why? Because all that the media will do with her is dissect her dressing choices.
Feminism in India is slated to die before it is even born. Women in this country will study for 18 years, leech off parent's/partner's money with the life objective of getting married off and then talk about how much their parents gave the boy and then nag the "boy'' while criticizing what other women are wearing.
We need better role models for feminism in this country.
There's a lot of femininity in India, very little feminism.
There's a lot of talking about rape and no support and systemic structure for rape victims.
There's a lot of talk about the top 5 women CEOs and complete ignorance of the millions of women who have no access to sanitation and respectful means of living.
Millions of Indian men have no fricking idea how tough it is to be an independent woman in this country.
Millions of Indian girls still think that marrying rich is a legitimate career path.
We need feminism.
But first we need to specify, what feminism means for us.
And we need to go the temple when we have periods.
And we need to stop criticizing other women's appearances.
And we need to stop using men as ATM machines.
And we need to force our husbands to help us in bringing the kids up.
And we need to reach out to our organizational frameworks that aid women who can't be on Quora, who can't read, write or live the lives we do.
We need a world where women don't need to ask advice on combining a career with family.
We need a world where sons are bought up like daughters, not the other way around.
We need a world where weddings are not an Individual price discovery mechanism.
A world where men and women are better equipped to deal with each other and respect the other half of the population.
An India, where virginity doesn't equal purity.
An India, where dowry doesn't equal women wealth.
An India, where widows aren't bad luck.
A country, where we can have gender neutral sexual harassment policies.
A country, where a man's masculinity is not threatened by the opinions of a woman.
That's all for now Folks!
